Devil Dog

by Thomas Greco, Publisher

It’s no secret that I love my dogs. I’ve been blessed(?) to have nine of them in my lifetime.

I write it that way because I’m not sure every one of them has been a blessing. My very first dog, a beautiful German Shepherd named Queenie, was an absolute sweetheart. Everyone loved her, even when she hopped around on three legs after losing one to cancer. Lady was next up. Another female Shepherd, but not as pretty or friendly as Queenie. Looking like she was coated in salt and pepper, Lady had a bad habit of nipping anyone who dared to touch or even walk past our living room piano.

Speaking of Pepper, he was my first male canine, my third German Shepherd. With his black and gold coat, Pepper seemed very approachable – and he was, as long as you were in the same room as I was, LOL. If not…well, there was no guarantee you’d get out of the house alive. We actually had to keep him in our basement after my daughter was born until he deemed her worthy of being protected. After Pepper passed, we stayed with the German Shepherds. First came Candy. I bought her in a pet shop (BIG mistake) and surprised my family. After a year of tearing everything in the house apart, we had to give her away. Sonny arrived not long after from a breeder, but that situation wasn’t much better. Sonny was given away because he couldn’t be trusted around my kids. The vet suggested a dog psychiatrist. I suggested a farm in Upstate New York.

That’s when we switched to Golden Retrievers and found our beloved Rusty. (Everything you need to know about Rusty can be found HERE.) Rusty was such a hard act to follow that after he passed, we had to get two retrievers next. Lucy and Penny were born eight months apart to the same parents. Actual bloodline sisters! This month marks the two-year anniversary of Lucy’s passing. I still can’t bring myself to write about it. I will someday. I owe her that.

After Lucy died, we were so heartbroken (not only for us, but for Penny), I decided to find another dog as soon as possible. My wife and kids convinced me to wait, but after a couple of days of numbly looking at Retriever websites, I found one I couldn’t resist.

Kirk Herbstreit is the country’s most famous and popular college/pro football TV analyst. He is also known for taking his Golden Retrievers with him everywhere goes. Every stadium. Every plane. Every train. Every hotel. In fact, his dogs Peter and Ben might be even more famous than he is.

Anyway, when I found our next dog, I texted the breeder for some background. Turned out she was the same breeder Kirk gets his Goldens from. How could I say no? I Venmoed the woman the down payment before someone else snapped the dog up and immediately called my daughter with the exciting news. Before I could even get Kirk’s name out of my mouth, she was sobbing and begging me not to do it. It was too soon, she said. And she was right. It was too soon. We were all still hurting too much from losing Lucy. So I texted the woman back and apologized, saying that my family just wasn’t ready, and asked if she could please return the deposit.

She refused. I explained to her that we were still mourning and I was sure she would understand since she breeds these amazing creatures. She still refused. She asked me if all the work she did on this transaction was worth something. I calmly reminded her that we had only started texting the day before – I had literally sent her the $500 less than an hour prior. The only “work”  she did was sending me papers to sign. After a half hour of texts getting more and more argumentative, she finally said, “Fine. But I will never do business with you again.” I was tempted to answer, “F@#k you AND Kirk Herbstreit.” But I didn’t. She sent the money back shortly after.

That brings us to Darla. Sweet, sweet Darla. The devil dog.

I started to seriously look again about three months after my text war with the alleged celebrity breeder. I found a beautiful white Golden from a breeder in North Carolina a friend of mine recommended. Not only was she beautiful, but she was also brilliant! She was being trained as a school service dog, but unfortunately, the school had closed and the breeder put her up for sale. The breeder sent me up a bunch of videos of this three-month-old puppy doing all these amazing things. She would ring a bell when she needed to go out. Obey every command. All the things you could want in a service dog. That was also the reason she was so EXPENSIVE. We just couldn’t resist. Everyone was on board and the breeder delivered Darla to us on a snowy February night in Edgewater.

Service dog, my ass.

Ring the bell? Sure, she could do that. Every FIVE minutes. Twenty-four hours a day. Obey commands? It’s almost two years later, and she still refuses to give me her paw. She has torn up our living room carpet. Eaten holes in our drywall. Chewed through at least a dozen pieces of clothing. Peed on our bed. The only service Darla could have ever been in was the Wacky Races pit area with Dick Dastardly. (10 points if you get that reference!)

She really isn’t a devil dog; just very mischievous. And honestly, she is the most cuddly and lovable dog we have ever had. When she’s not torturing us, she’s laying on top of us, licking our faces or begging to play. Yes, she’s exhausting, but when she jumps up into your lap (all 80 pounds of her) and puts her head on your chest or shoulder to finally fall asleep…well, how can you not love that?

Until 5:30am the next morning when she’s waking everyone up, barking to be fed. I cover my head with my pillow and wait for my wife to get out of bed and feed her, cursing me under her breath.

Penny just watches and yawns.

We miss you, Lucy!

Want more? Check out the November 2026 issue of New Jersey Automotive!