The Diving Board
by Thomas Greco, Publisher
Do you remember growing up when one of the biggest topics in school was the extinction of certain animals?
For some reason, I remember always being lectured on how the Bald Eagle or the Humpback Whale were in danger of becoming non-existent. There was a lot of that kind of stuff going around. Remember the commercial with the Indi…I mean, Native American with the tear in his eye after he saw someone throw trash out of a car window? (And did you know that the Indi..I mean Native American in that commercial, Iron Eyes Cody, was actually an Italian guy named Esper Oscar de Corti from Louisiana?) Like it or not, that commercial certainly made an impression. I mean, when was the last time you saw someone throw trash out of a car window? In fact, litter is pretty much extinct compared to those days, right?
Saving animals is a great thing. So is keeping America beautiful. But while I was flipping through social media the other day, I saw a post that reminded me of something else that has gone extinct, which bothers me way more than the loss of a Red-Cockaded Woodpecker:
Diving boards.
That’s right, diving boards. What the hell ever happened to diving boards?????
Look, I’ve bragged – I mean, mentioned – that we had a built-in pool when I was growing up, and we had the coolest diving board (along with a slide, an indoor/outdoor rug and a “G” painted on the bottom of the pool). Don’t hate me. My dad started with nothing and built a construction company, a house and a pool from scratch, so I will never feel guilty.
Back to the diving board. We had so much fun diving, jumping, playing football – you name it – off of that thing into the 10-foot deep end. My cousin Billy (the White Pearl) used to do double and triple flips off of it!
My dad loved that diving board. Looking back, it’s pretty funny because he never learned to swim. He would always stay in the shallow end and do his “dead man’s float” from one side to the other. If he ever drifted down to the deep end, he would make sure to hold on to that diving board for his life. But he loved to relax, smoke his Lucky Strikes and drink his Schaefer beer while sitting on it. For some reason, he also loved to have his picture taken on and around it.
Back then, diving boards were everywhere. When we took our very rare trips down the shore, every hotel/motel had one. Many had two: a high dive and a regular one. Hell, I remember we drove to Miami Beach in 1967, a three-Cadillac convoy of Northern New Jersey Italians headed through Dixieland. I will never forget the Florida diving boards. They seemed taller than the hotels we stayed at!
I can’t tell you the last time I saw a diving board. I drive around my town, and I don’t see any. We go down the shore every year, and none of those hundreds of hotels or condos has one. In Orlando, we have stayed at the majority of Disney and Universal Hotels. Not a diving board in sight.
So, why did they disappear? I asked ChatGPT, and here were the top five reasons it gave me:
1. Safety Concerns (wimps)
2. Insurance Issues (OF COURSE)
3. Maintenance and Space (pus…I mean, fraidy-cats)
4. Changing Trends (cowards)
5. Regulations (wusses)
Oh, man. Whatever happened to fun?
Wait a minute. I just did a Google Earth search for my old house. The diving board is STILL there!
My dad would be proud.
Want more? Check out the September 2025 issue of New Jersey Automotive!